The Milkshake is Done
by Sadeyiscool
Summary: I've gathered this much information so far. Adam Lambert is an evil master mind plotting God only knows. We are assuming we have no time at all to stop him. He wants Bill Kaulitz. And I'm thinking it's for more than just a gay guy thing.
1. Armed At gunpoint

What's your way of the ninja? Well, I guess you wouldn't be able to answer unless you were a ninja. Odds are your probably not, but that's still okay. The way of the ninja can also be the way of life, seeing as though when your a ninja you don't do anything else but be a ninja. That is, of course, unless your the head ninja, such as myself. But, that's just bosses privilege.

Rephrase: What's your motto, your way of life, how you do things? How do you see the world, what is your perspective? Because I don't have one. You'd think for a world top ninja dragon tamer, master of wizardry and number one beast at guitar hero, I'd have one. But I don't, so far, I just complete the missions they throw my way. Without ever thinking about them. But that was just during the school year.

Now it's summer, and since I worked so hard this school year to defeat the evil emperor Zerg and helped out with the order of the phoenix. But that's another story, another time. You see, I've basically cleared away all evil threats currently existing, or so they say. People tend to lie to me, but they don't understand, because I see through their lies with a special type of magic.

But it's classified. Don't ask.

What I'm trying to say, and don't get me wrong, summers usually cool, but it's boring this year. There was absolutely nothing to do, and with my status and power, I couldn't think of anything to cure my absence of fun.

For me it's unhealthy.

It was only nine o' clock, and I still laid in my bed. A hot June day just waiting for adventure, a quest. Something I just could not find.

It's gonna be one of those days, I thought. But I'm a bendable person, I could live with another one of those days, today, maybe not, per say, tomorrow.

Oh well. Television is the solution to everyone's problems. In a kind of sort of way. I mean, Television can only teach and educate. Subjects may vary.

MTV was the only thing I watched, in the morning, at least. It was full of music videos I've never seen or heard of, but then again, somebody has.

Adam Lambert was on the menu for this morning—his music was playing one song after another. His music videos were interesting, they featured him in women's clothing at one point, a little creepy. With his extreme make up and hair it kind of suited him though, in a weird way. But I liked his music, it was catchy and not annoying like a lot of the more popular songs are.

They would show little chunks of an interview in between each song now and then. At one point they asked him what his favorite color was—he said blue or black—and then they asked him where he got his fashion ideas from.

The lady turned to him, flipping her blond hair back.

"So, Adam, where do you get your ideas to dress like that?" She asked with a wide smile.

Adam's eyes grew hungry, and he suddenly became excited. "Oh, I like Bill Kaultiz's look from Tokio Hotel. He's really got the whole andro thing right, you know?"

The women laughed and nodded. Adam Lambert liked Tokio Hotel, cool, huh? I liked them too, as of a few months ago they had probably permanently sealed their spot as my second favorite band. *

There were a few of Adam's songs I'd never heard before and liked—voodoo was one of them—and I decided to bust out my super bad ass laptop.

It was like any other bad ass laptop. Big enough for fun, small enough for convenience, and a sexy shiny black that reflected anything like a mirror. Of course, it was top secret, because it held lots of ninja information.

My status as a ninja enabled me to download music completely free, seeing as though I was freaking awesome, and I decided to look for some new songs. When I finished that with my secret ninja downloading program, I googled Adam Lambert. One thing you need to know about my laptop, it's not a regular laptop, I said it's bad ass, made by the official ninja corporation. It's like a ninja laptop. When using a search engine, like Google, it will also search the entire web and find websites that may be evil, like, the official homepage for _Doc Oc._ I'd actually found that at one point, and leaked it too spider man.

My search was usually the regular stuff, because I think the villains had gotten some sort of software that protected them from our laptops, but that's only the big guys, we got tons of low key bad guys with searches, who had no idea we even existed.

But Adam's search proved strange. The first few hits were bio's, interviews, a song or two. But after the first page things started getting weird. I clicked on one interesting link, one that said, Adam Lambert is evil. Why would he be evil? He looked like a harmless gay guy to me.

I figured the website would be bashing his homosexuality, but It didn't. It claimed that Adam was using some ancient magic to do treacherous acts of evil. It really didn't have anything else. I found another website that said basically the same thing, and I really couldn't find anything else. These websites were no joke, their allegations we usually devised by a group of skilled ninjas, wizards, elves. We usually took these things seriously.

I decided this was enough to call Fritz, our computer guy. He was smart as balls, let me tell you. He could hack into a computer in less than a second, and so far no computer has stumped him. We found him working at a library in New York City, and we'd taken him in and given him a briefing.

I grabbed the phone and dialed, Fritz picked up.

"Sadey? Why are you calling?" Fritz asked nervously. He was nervous on missions or in critical situations, but not normally. I figured he was working on a big project.

"I was wondering if your busy." I kept scrolling through all the hits. They all said the same things: Evil, magic, crazy.

"Well, n-not really." Fritz answered. "Just getting a bug out of number 81's computer again." Number 81 (I'm not telling you their name.) couldn't keep a virus out of his computer.

"I was wondering what you could tell me about Adam Lambert, actually." Friz new everything, not just about computers. He also had a pretty could taste in music. He spent time in books and in computers, basically your two best sources of information.

He gave an instant biography. "Well, I know he's a gay singer who was runner up in _American Idle_ one year. He's into the androgynous look. " He sighed. "Is this really all you called for?"

"No, actually, I'm looked him up on my laptop, and I'm getting funny rumors from the usual sources."

"What kind of rumors." I head him shuffle and turn on his computer.

"Well, they all say the same things. He's evil, he's plotting something, he's using bad, very bad, ancient magic. One of them even said he can change his gender." I'd just found that one.

"That's weird. I thought he was harmless." I heard Fritz's lightning fast typing in the background. "I'm getting that too." He used an even more super bad ass computer, one that basically own any super computer ever made.

"Well?" I inquired.

"Well, so far at least 20 sites say he's evil—enough for me—but I just found a really weird one that says he's going to kidnap Bill Kaulitz." I heard his typing again. "And now there looks like a bunch of hits on that as well."

That made absolutely no sense. Who in their right mind would want to _kidnap_ Bill Kaulitz?

"Oh no..." Fritz said slowly, and I heard his typing go faster. "Oh my God." He said to himself.

"What is it?" But Fritz was lifeless, frozen, even over the phone I could feel his fear.

"I found his website. My computer...broke." No virus had ever managed to break that computer. It was virus resistant, it would ultimately own the bug. This was unheard of.

"Did you see anything of it, the website?" I asked quickly.

"Yeah, and he goes by the name, _Madam Adam._"

First class on a plane never gets old. Comfortable seats, listening to music, eating like a king. Yeah, it never gets old. Being a ninja has it's privileges, and this was one of them. Your probably wonder how I ended up on a plane, though.

Well, Fritz hung up on me after _Madam Adam._ And I decided that searching that was way to dangerous, and the only thing I could do was obvious. Protect Bill Kaulitz from Adam Lambert. I packed my bag with my usual ninja gear, and hopped on a plane, no questions asked.

I was on my way to Germany, where Bill and his identical twin brother Tom were currently relaxing and not on tour. Lazy bastards. Oh well, this was the start of another adventure, and I was excited. I was too excited to care about two lazy bastard twin brothers.

It was a long ass flight, let me tell you. By the third hour I had listened to possibly enough of _Muse_ to make you hate them.

I was debating jumping off the plane when they finally announced we would be arriving shortly. I wasn't really looking forward to this mission, actually, usually I had a team of skilled or unskilled hands at my command. But this wasn't really official business, I figured Fritz would be too busy fixing his computer to notify anyone that we may have come across the most demented super villain known to man. Oh happy day.

My arrival was short lived. I was a special guest, so I didn't even go through bag check or whatever they did. The air port was crowded and filled with people speaking German, not English. There were German signs over stores, German announcements, German _people. _It was really quite confusing.

I found the exit—thank God—and checked the map I brought with me. It gave me the twin's location, I'd gotten it off the computer.

It's classified. Don't ask.

Getting to said location wasn't hard. Although Germany was different, it was really pretty. They had a lot of things we didn't, like cleanliness. On another note, America had Wal*Mart, so, we won.

Their place wasn't hard to find. Judging by the group of teenage girls who stood outside of a metal gate, I figured it was the entrance to the apartment. Now, how was I going to get into _there? _Those girls looked like they could easily kill someone, scratch that, they would, if they got the chance. I really didn't understand why fans were usually violent.

I really didn't want to freak them out too bad, but I had no choice. I hoped the fence from in the back,(It was a seven foot fence, mind you) and climbed the building until I found a window. Score, I epic won that one.

Once inside I listened for the possibility that somebody would be home. I had entered into a bedroom, and to my right there was a vanity, with lots of black make up. This was Bill's room. I heard footsteps approaching, and don't ask me why, I panicked, and threw myself under the bed.

When he walked in it was really kind of weird. He wasn't wearing shoes (ew), and since he was so freaking tall I couldn't tell what he was looking at. He stopped in front of the vanity, and hopped onto his bed. I heard him get snug under the covers. Oh shit.

Silently, I exited from underneath his bed. I made sure it was safe to stand up, that he was facing the other way, before actually doing it. Bill was facing the door, his hair kind of...messy, and he was looking at his hand.

I stood there awkwardly for a few moments, debating on different ways to get out of this situation. To my left there was a closet, and the closet was probably huge, and maybe even led to another room. That was my best chance of getting out of here unnoticed so I could think of a plan.

Getting in an out of rooms silently was easy for a ninja, it was basics. Once inside I marveled a bit at the size. This man had leather jackets coming out of his ass or something—I'd never seen so many in one effing place. I sat down on the floor, and thought about a plan.

Approaching him directly would never work. He'd call the police or whatever Germany had, and in the back of my head I heard the word Nazis. Like that would ever happen. My other option was to watch over him silently, but I wasn't sure I was able to do that. He probably already had like eight stalkers, no need for another. Besides, silently watching over him would mean no contact, whatsoever. I'd like a nice conversation or two, ya know?

I was too busy thinking about this when I heard a gun trigger up against my head. I gulped, I'd let my guard down. I expected Adam Lambert himself to be here but when I looked up I saw none other than Tom Kaulitz.

His hair was in dreadlocks, his pants riding low. His shirt was a disgrace to size. It would fit a whale.

"Who sent you." Tom demanded. Holy snap, calm down, don't shoot me. I'm good, I'm one of the good guys.

Well, I continued to sit in my pondered position before he calmly demanded it again.

"Who sent you." I giggled. Oops.

Before Tom could hit me with the gun, I got up and got him in a headlock so fast he dropped it.

"Hey, hey, hey, I'm good. What I don't know is if your good." I pointed out, confused. I'd be really disappointed if Tom ended up being evil, ya know? I mean, I'd had enough of that for one day.

"None of your business, what are you here for?" He asked in a struggled breath.

I decided to tell him. "I'm here to protect your little brother." Tom stopped struggling, and seemed to relax.

"Really?" Tom suddenly sounded very interested.

"Yes, really, do you...know?" I asked confused. Tom suddenly straitened up violently. He was too tall, I couldn't hold him down.

"I only know some one is trying to steal him." He said, quietly, opening the door to where sleeping Bill was.

"Well then, I'm here to help." I smiled at Tom, yes, I was here to help. Helping was good. It also gave me something to do this summer, ya know?


	2. The Milkshake is Done

Explaining everything to Bill was more difficult than you'd think. He was very innocent, pure, in a way, and didn't understand the concept that someone was after him. Tom and I made a joint decision that it wasn't safe in Germany, and I didn't like it here, so we took everyone back to America into L.A. This included Gustav, a raging gunman, and Georg, a secret samurai. These two completed Tom's assassination team.

It wasn't awkward, Tom made wise cracks at any lady who walked by. They also encountered some fans, Bill being the most overjoyed to see them. To my knowledge, he had no special abilities. Only the ability to eat a lot.

Why Adam Lambert would want him was a mystery. The word _pure_ wasn't mentioned at one point, but I didn't know if that described Bill, fully, or not. There was something else, I just knew it.

We made our way down the streets of L.A. Un-harmed, until Bill complained of hunger. We turned left into a McDonald's for him. He grinned approvingly.

Upon walking in, I saw a scene I would have never expected to see.

The Jonas brothers were all gathered around at table, talking excitedly about something, actually, it was just Joe, with his beard deal going on.

Nick looked kind of bored, his curly hair slightly, erm, curly? He stared out the window.

Kevin was turning the pages of a magazine, nodding at the appropriate times. Nobody was really listening to Joe, Bill was already in line to order, actually, he was the only one ordering. I walked closer to Joe to hear what he was saying.

"Nick, nick, nick! You wouldn't believe it! She was doing all sorts of things like jumping and kicking and-" He threw his fist through the air to explain. "A ninja! A real one. I swear on my life Nick." He drank some soda. "You too Kevin. You too." Kevin looked up briefly.

"Yeah, Joe, ninjas, again. We get it."

Joe, looking rather disappointed, sank back into his chair, sipping his soda with a sad face.

His story was most likely B.S., but it should be taken seriously, even if it is Joe Jonas. Ninjas goofing off and getting exposed is a big no-no. I looked back at Bill and the others, Bill had to have at least seven or eight Bic Macs on his tray, and a large Milkshake. I raised my eyebrows and turned back to the Jonas Brothers.

The door opened, like is normally does and it was behind me. Joe stood up and pointed right at me.

"It's the ninja!" He screamed. I gestured to myself ready to move or something, or not be a ninja. How in the hell did Joe Jonas know about all this?

Tom, was in front of me in a second. He understood that civilians knowing about me or him would probably mean death, for us.

Joe frowned. "Move please, Mr. Scary." Tom smiled Big at him.

Bill called from behind us. "Hey Tommy whataya doing?" Tom's hand flinched near his sword. Woah, you don't have to go killing everyone.

"What do you want with us?" Tom spat.

"Not you, the girl who just came in!" Joe said. Kevin looked up, Nick stared out the window.

Tom and I both turned to see who it was. There stood a frozen Caitlin DeVault, my best friend, who walked in. She couldn't have been the ninja, she looked at me, then at Tom, then at the Jonas Brothers, then back at the rest of Tokio Hotel, and Bill who had eaten three Big Macs.

"Huh?" She asked, confused.

Joe scrambled up, knocking over a chair, and ran up to her.

"You were doing crazy ninja stuff! I saw it, with my eyes. These ones." He pointed right at his face. "I'm not lying." Kevin shook his head, Nick stifled a laugh.

"What?" Caitlin said, frowning. She was kind of confused, most of the time. She couldn't be a ninja, Joe's lost his marbles. Tom looked confused too. Everyone was confused, except for Joe and Bill, who seemed happily in tune with whatever they were doing.

Tom spoke up.

"That girls not a ninja, this one is." He pushed me forward.

Caitlin looked at me for a second before saying: "What in the world is...huh...?" Joe stepped forward, putting his chest out.

"No, she's the ninja." He said, pointing at Caitlin. Nick stood up when Tom got in Joe's face.

"Prove it, shorty." Tom was taller than Joe, and he looked a little scared for a minute. The other two Jonas Brothers both stepped up to help.

"Joe you idiot." Nick said, sighing.

"Yeah." Kevin agreed, nodding his head. They tried apologizing but it just kind of turned into a stand off. Tom had his hand on his gun before he called Bill up.

Why did he call Bill up?

"Bill come here." Tom said, loudly.

Bill was finishing off one of two hamburgers that were left, he quickly devoured the other one. Ew, he just ate like eight big macs. He grabbed his half empty large milkshake, sipping annoyingly, and stood up next to Tom, in front of Nick.

There was a weird look in Nick's eyes, it was focused, like he was trying to remember something important. Bill stood like an idiot, the milkshake straw in his mouth.

It all happened in slow motion, for me, at least. Nick raised his hand up in the most dramatic way possible, the sill look plastered on his face. Bill's face showed panic and fear. I saw him try to move his hands, but they were frozen. He was frozen. Everyone around us looked in pity at the poor milkshake, as Nicks hand slapped it onto the ground, with an audible splat.

"The Milkshake is done." He said in a perfect temperamental voice.

Bill stood, awkwardly for a few moments. Tom looked at him, and asked him something in German.

"No Tom, I have to get another one." Bill left to get back in line. Tom put his face in his hands, and Georg and Gustav were busting up back at the table. Tom shot them the evil eye. But Tom seemed to relax a little more, and slowly, he removed from his tense stance and calmed down. But I knew he wasn't going to give in, Tom just wasn't that type of person.

This wasn't going anywhere, so I looked for Caitlin and called her over.

"What in the name of Balls is going on, why are you here?" I was royally confused.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing." She said, also confused.

Well, the situation wasn't becoming any better, as Bill approached us with a new milkshake—he still slurped it annoyingly—and crouched down to our level.

"I don't like it when Tom gets mad like that." Bill said, checking over his shoulder. "Are they gonna fight?" He asked quietly, in a whisper.

"Bill,this isn't a secret meeting or anything." Bill nodded, but kept himself low, and moved in closer to try and conceal himself from his brother.

"Those Jonas Brothers are scary." He said so low I had to strain my ears to hear him.

Caitlin looked at Bill, with a look of wonder on her face.

"Scary? Tom started this!" She said, clearly offended.

Bill nodded. "Tom is scary too." He sipped his milkshake. I frowned, before pulling Caitlin out in between the stand off. By now, Georg and Gustav had stood up to help, and they were in the trash talking stage.

We broke it up, Caitlin calming the Jonas brothers, as Joe continued to accuse her of being a ninja. Tom frowned at me, looking disapproving.

"Tom, you don't need to be starting fights in McDonald's when your brother is in trouble." We both looked at Bill, who was currently dancing, while sitting down, alone in a booth, listening to his ipod. We both sighed in unison.

Caitlin came over, looking troubled. I remembered I had to ask her something.

"Why is Joe calling you a ninja?" I asked, Tom turned to listen.

"Because I am one." Caitlin said offhandedly. "Don't tell anyone." She was speaking to me and Tom.

Tom frowned, looking confused. "No, Sadey's a ninja." He pointed out, poking the top of my head. "She nearly killed me."

Yeah I did. And I should have, jerk. That poke hurt.

"Well, I guess this means we're both Ninjas." Caitlin and I high-fived, and Tom just stood, jaw dropped. He then shook his head and pulled out a tiny flask filled with what I assumed was alcohol. He then went to join his brother at the table. He better not get caught with that—he's only twenty years old.

"So, what are you doing here?" I asked Caitlin.

"I woke up today, and thought, I should creep on the Jonas Brothers. What are you doing?" She asked me.

"I'm trying to save the world. Regular ninja stuff."

"Really? I'm a self trained ninja."

"Oh, well, I'm employed by the official ninja organization of the world—Japan—and I get these types of missions all the time, you should think about joining, it's really fun." I doubted she was as good as me, but you never knew. Self trained Ninjas are risky buiseness, but they often turn out to be beyond what a regular one is capable of.

"Cool, you think I could help out with this one?" She asked me.

"Sure, we could use all the help we can get." And I told her all about Adam Lambert being an evil villain with good music. I explained about Tom, Georg, and Gustav and what they were capable of, and how Bill was in trouble. She agreed to help us out, but we didn't know that the Jonas Brothers were listening.

Kevin stepped up first, looking weirdly sure of himself.

"We want to help." They said, startling us. "Me and Nick—we want to help you stop this Madam Adam." Caitlin and I started laughing. Without meaning too.

"You guys, this isn't a game." Caitlin explained. "Lives are at stake." Joe rushed up, looking flustered. He shoved through Kevin and Nick, demanding our attention.

"I will do anything to join your ninja squad.!" He said, breathless. Me and Caitlin looked at each other, we didn't have a ninja squad.

"Joe, please, not right now." Kevin hissed, and Nick just looked out the window again, disappointed.

Caitlin answered them before I got the chance. "Fine, we'll take all three of you." Joe leaped up into the air and cheered, but Kevin and Nick just looked at each other. I grabbed her and excused ourselves.

"What do you think your doing? They'll be killed! How could you say something like..." I sighed. "We can not take them with us. They'll only drag us down."

She looked unscathed. "Trust me." was all she said. How could I trust her, the flipping Jonas Brothers? We were screwed.

We all excited from Mcdonald's heading for a forest. Yeah right, a forest in L.A. But that was where Adam's hide out was supposed to be located, and the Jonas Brothers had a good idea where it was. They were regulars here, in L.A.

It was a bustling city with lot's of weird people just wondering around on the streets. People could be seen preforming, asking for money, advertising. I guess this is what a city was like.

Bill smiled and clapped for everyone he walked by, looking not just entertained, but intensely content afterward. I caught up with Tom to ask him a few questions.

Tom slowed down a little to match my pace.

"What's up?" He asked, numbly. He wasn't too fond of bringing the Jonas Brothers, either, but Caitlin had convinced him they would help. Kevin and Nick were awfully quiet, and Joe, well, Joe was Joe. He got along real nice with Bill.

"Your brother, I'm wondering, is he...all there in the head?" I worded it as carefully as I could, I didn't want to offend him or anything.

"I dunno. Bill's always been real freaky, innocent, pure." He paused, then added. "I think he's special."

Well Duh.

I guess my look gave away my thought there. Tom continued.

"Not mental, no, Bill's comprehension levels are usually weird like this, unless confronted by something bad."

"Come again?" I asked him.

Tom sighed. "Once when we were small, a pervert saw us walking home from school. We were bullied a lot, and this particular time, we looked kind of banged up from a beating. The man had a van and everything. He offered us a ride home, and I was about to hop in, I was so tired of everything, and walking home scared to get hit." He shuddered. "Bill just stood there, with this creepy blank look in his eyes, before he freaked out. He kept saying this man was bad, a bad man. The guy actually got out of the car and almost ended up dead because of it. Bill attacked him. That was the first time it happened..." He trailed off.

"What?" I asked, looking at the peppy, girlish man dancing with a hobo. Joe was taking pictures with his phone.

"Once when we were eleven, Someone tried to break into our house. They tried to climb in through Bill's room, and they found the man dead three weeks later. Bill would constantly turn up missing when he slept. He does thing...strange."

I'd heard about something like this before. I'd read it in a book a few years back, but I couldn't remember on what or when or how. Tom sighed.

"A bout a month ago, a fan was sending us threatening letters. These are common, for us, and I wasn't worried. But Bill read the letter over and over again and kept it with him where ever he went. He went out and didn't come back for a few days. That girl who wrote the letter—she's dead..." Tom sighed. "And the worst part is Bill can't remember any of it. In fact, it seems he's created artificial memories to cover up over these instances."

Tom's description fit whatever I couldn't remember like a glove.

"Tom, this is totally why Adam Lambert wants Bill!" I said. Tom snorted at me. "I've heard about this somewhere before..."

"That's absurd. The only one who ever knew about this was me. And now, you." He looked around, and nearly jumped when he found Kevin and Nick right behind us listening intently.

Kevin scratched his chin, thinking about something. Nick looked at Kevin with a questionable look on his face.

"Bill Kaulitz...wow." Kevin finally said after five minutes of silence. Tom and I looked at each other. We all glanced at Bill, who was with Joe, reading street signs and drinking a soda. Caitlin was walking quietly behind all of us, I gestured for her to come in closer.

"What are you talking about?" Caitlin asked, confused.

Kevin cleared his throat.

"Bill holds the key to a vast amount of unexplainable knowledge, the core of our intelligence." He said slowly. Tom cracked a smile, and stifled a giggle, before he turned away and coughed loudly.

I remembered, at least, what I couldn't remember. I'd read in a book that once every century a child was born who held the key to all knowledge inside of him or something in a freaky book I'd found in the library. The kid was supposed to sniff out danger in an instant and attack it with no mercy, protecting him and what he held close.

It didn't mention the words Air head anywhere in the book, though.

"I remember now! Immortal knowledge or whatever." I said. Kevin nodded.

"Exactly...but...this is really weird." Kevin said. But then, the book was top secret, only elite people, such as myself, would have been able to get their hands on such a thing. How in the world did Kevin Jonas know?

Tom narrowed his eyes, and according to the troubled look he shot me, it told me he was thinking the same thing.

"How do you know all this?" Tom asked.

Kevin shrugged. "Came across it in a book." the conversation was dropped then, because Bill came over to me and dragged me over to Joe.

"Please tell him that those glasses are ugly." Bill pleaded. "He thinks they make him cool." I frowned. Bill had no business calling somebody else's clothing item ugly. At least he didn't wear glasses, well, regular glasses.

I sighed. "Bill, I like Joe's glasses." I pointed out. "But Joe, the fashionista thinks their ugly, so try to accommodate his wishes until we arrive at our desired destination.

I've gathered this much information so far.

Adam Lambert is an evil master mind plotting God only knows. We are assuming we have no time at all to stop him.

He wants Bill Kaulitz. And I'm thinking it's for more than just a gay guy thing, seeing as though Adam Lambert is unspeakably evil.

Bill Kaulitz, said object of want, is crazy and holds the key to all information one's heart could ever desire. We must protect said crazy.

Tokio Hotel and The Jonas Brothers are to help me, and my ninja friend Caitlin protect said crazy?

We're screwed.


	3. We Made it! Oh wait Demon Robots

Even though Tom's an admirable adversary, he easily gets distracted. And by distracted I mean horny or perverted, or something a long those lines. I've never met a guy who couldn't keep it in his pants for more than ten minutes. (ew)

Every lady who walked by got whistled at, or reached for, or heaven forbid this happening again, felt up. (ew, again) He'd actually went for Caitlin once, but, well, let's just said he walked away with a broken nose.

Our journey through L.A proved relentlessly boring. Except for Joe and Bill, who ultimately kept everyone entertained. We got stared at, but for some reason Tom wasn't looking to appealing after being decked in the face, and fans tended to keep their distance. We only got approached twice, which, for being famous, is probably like a new record or something.

Out of the city we encountered what literally could have been an enchanted forest. Bill was the first to run forward toward it, phone out and ready for pictures. Tom sighed, but nodded, saying the forest was safe. How did he know? Being a ninja, I knew the first thing you ought to stay away from was a forest, where you would be subjected to a formidable enemy attack.

But Tom shuffled in, followed by Gustav and Georg, then Kevin and Nick. Joe and Bill lead the way. It was too late to warn them.

Besides, the forest was way too big to go around anyway. But once we were inside we realized there wasn't exactly a path to walk on, just a bunch of annoying shrubs that were impossible to cut through.

Joe smiled before signaling to everyone that he had the situation handled. He turned and ran head first into one of the bigger bushes. It swallowed him up completely.

"That didn't work!" He grunted, struggling to get out. Kevin helped him out.

Tom spoke up then, kicking smaller bush out of the way.

"We'll have to travel on the branches." He said, and he was right. It was the fastest method of travel, specially through a forest. It was simple, you just jumped from tree branch to tree branch at super speed.

Bill scrambled up. "Really? We can do that?" Bill was prone to believe anything his older brother said, I soon learned.

"How can that work?" Joe was being doubtful.

Of course, the Jonas brothers couldn't do this. Thinking that would be insane. We'd have to carry them, and the idea of carrying a Jonas Brother was not appealing. Maybe Caitlin would carry one for me, but she stood, her back up an against a tree making casual conversation with Nick. She was carrying him, I sure wasn't.

"Tom, how're are the gonna do that? And Bill?" I asked him, but I figured he would carry Bill. Tom shrugged.

"You carry Bill, I'll lead." It was kind of like follow the leader. He directed you in the direction you needed to go, and avoided the obstacles. It was hard to do that with a 120 pound 6 foot tall bimbo on your back.

That was not happening.

"He's too big Tom!" I said. "I'll lead. You carry your brother."

"I don't carry." And it was dropped then, well, no it wasn't. I wasn't carrying anything that was bigger than me. Son of a gun.

Bill smiled at me and waved. Weirdo.

Tom went to explain to everyone else, so I followed. I was in a bad mood, so when Kevin came up to me, I snapped at him.

"Sorry, I'm just, angry." I sighed. "You want something?"

Kevin shuffled back and forth. I noticed he was like a weird looking Jonas Brother.

"Me and Nick..don't need to be carried." he paused. "I'll carry Joe." Wait, that meant he could do this tree jumping by himself. Him and Nick? Wow. That's amazing, usually it takes years of practice to manage this skill.

I nodded, feeling a little more relieved. That means Gustav or Georg or even Caitlin (Well, she's shorter than me, I doubt she could manage to carry A guy who's a foot taller than her.) could try Bill, but he was the tallest. The only person who'd have no trouble would be Tom, but he was a jerk.

Bill was talking to Gustav when I walked over to him. He grinned.

"Bill, I don't know how your going anywhere at this point." I said, sighing. I mean, wasn't he the reason we were all in this mess anyway? Bill frowned.

"Aren't you carrying me?" He asked absently.

Gustav spit out a bit of the water he'd been drinking and stifled a laugh.

"Shut up, I'll kill you." I spat. "Yeah Bill that's what your ignorant brother said."

Bill nodded. "Yeah, he's ignorant." But I don't think he was talking about his recent decision.

I sighed again. How was I going to get him from point A to point B? Bill looked intently at the forest for a few silent moments.

"I don't need you to carry me." He whispered, quietly. "Don't tell Tom that, though." And with that, he walked away, over to Georg only to get yelled at.

What? This was ridiculous. But I'd learned not to push things.

The forest was an interesting journey. Halfway through Joe protested and Kevin put him down, but he fell down onto another branch, dislocating his pinky finger. Bill gradually kept up, but he wasn't very good and jumping, so I kept him in front of me, and several times he fell off. I wasn't lying when I said he weighed 120 pounds.

I was very thankful once we'd reached the end. Tom smiled as if that whole thing was a success. Remind me to kill him later.

But what loomed on the horizon was much more menacing. Once we reached the end, and Bill collapsed from exhaustion, I began to question our motives. Sure, our team was strong. Me, the skilled head ninja, and Caitlin. Tom, crazy, Gustav the gunman, and Georg the swordsman. Kevin and Nick were mysterious, and I was beginning to suspect them of, well, complete insanity. Joe and Bill so far proved no help at all.

But this wasn't enough because it wasn't an entire army, or say, a fleet of battle ships, or, maybe, a couple dragons. Because what stood in front of us was a huge black castle, like, the ones Bowser would take Princess Peach? Filled with lava and such. It just, I don't know, leaked evil. And It's not like it was the scariest thing I'd ever seen, of course not, it was just, too scary for this very moment. It's malice was just too much, ya know?

Bill whistled and said "Wow." We all kind of gawked at it. It must have been like 900 stories or something. And the size of like eight football fields. We were not prepared for this. We were basically in mortal danger just standing here. And to think we brought Bill all the way here—only to be killed anyway.

That is exactly what I was thinking when a large robot from hell came to greet us. Several more behind it. Then, out of nowhere, a loud snarl of a laugh very nasal pierced the air.

Adam Lambert came out, dressed more weird than he normally dresses. He had a bleach blonde wig on, was wearing bright blue makeup, and purple robes that made him look like a sinister type of drag queen.

I gulped, and looked around for Bill—but he wasn't there. Oh my god they got him! We came all the way here only to die? That is like, super ignorant.

We all were stuck, as a robot held onto us. I can only say that metal isn't very comfortable.

Adam smiled at us.

"Welcome visitors!" He chimed. "I hope you do enjoy your stay at my castle. Friends are always welcome." He paused, and I saw that in his really ugly purse, he had a freaking bald Siamese cat. He stroked its really, really, ugly head.

"I would like to thank you." He continued. "You delivered my precious Bill right to my front door."

I saw Tom struggle a little, only to get bashed on the head with a giant metallic blow. He was knocked out.

"Take them to their chambers, boys." Adam left and we were dragged away, one by one, into the castle.

Well, Adam Lambert was more of a jerk that I'd originally thought. Damn it all, ya know? We were now currently chained up in a real live mid evil dungeon, by our ankles. We could all move around freely, but we'd been in here an hour, and were tired of, well, the dungeon. Tom hadn't said anything when he woke up.

I sighed, we were gonna die.

Joe was being unusually quiet—for Joe, at least. Nick was being, well, normal, and quiet. Kevin was the one who started talking.

Caitlin and I both looked at him, as if to say, what the hell are you smoking?

Kevin struggled to his feet, and dusted off his sneakers.

"It's dirty down here." He pointed out, making a face. I rolled my eyes. "We're going to have to bust out of here."

"Your crazy." Joe suddenly piped up. "We're stuck in here for good."

Tom, Georg, and Gustav both looked hopeless as well, and they just shrugged their shoulders.

"Come on you guys, if Bill were here, he wouldn't be all depressed." Kevin said, I nodded and stood up with him, trying to get everyone in a better mood.

"You could dangle Bill over a pit filled with lava and he'd be fine with it." Tom said, with a bored tone. "You can't scare him, he doesn't see reality. He's oblivious to logic."

"That's no way to talk about your brother." Gustav's joke lightened the mood a little. Tom smirked and chuckled softly.

They looked solemnly up at me and Kevin. As if to say, what do you suggest?

Before I could say anything, Kevin started talking. "We'll need to get out of these chains. Nick?" Nick stood up and I noticed he didn't have a chain around his ankle, instead, it laid on the ground in pieces.

He walked over to Joe, who wasn't paying attention, and pulled out a tiny knife that could cut through anything. I'd know that knife anywhere, it was the tooth of the northern snow beast—commonly known as the white dragon. I'd heard stories that it was impossible to defeat one, insane. There had only been one legendary hunter who'd managed to kill one, but he'd gone into retirement.

But that wasn't Nick Jonas, I knew that much. The snow hunter may have been young, but not that young. Nick shuffled over to me, after finishing off the rest of the dudes and Caitlin, to take off my chains.

"Where did you get that?" I asked him frantically. He looked at the knife and nodded over to Kevin.

Well, this was another surprising found piece of information.

Once we were all free, Joe began to become a little more, Joe-ish? He pretended to have a gun and shoot at the wall, explaining what he was going to do to those big giant robots.

"We'll blow their heads off!" Joe was saying. "Then we'll collect the pieces and donate to science! And get rich!" He clapped for himself.

Somebody didn't take their medicine today.

Kevin and I conversed about a plan. We had no idea about how the castle went, and it was huge, so there was a 50% we'd get lost, and a 50% we wouldn't know where we were going.

The castle was crawling with the hellish robots, and with every turn there just seemed to be more of them. We soon found out that there was an off switch right on their back, so once turned off, they couldn't put up a fight anymore. They were pretty feisty, they would easily kill you if you weren't careful.

We all went in a circle at least three times, falling over each other when we saw that evil cat peering at us from a balcony above us. Joe turned himself over and hid behind some armor hanging on the wall.

Finding the main hall wasn't easy, but we managed, with lot's of effort, to find to big huge doors that must have entered to where Adam usually was. I could here Bill singing nervously with him—a weird song I'd never heard before. We listened intently at the door.

It wasn't in English, and I asked Tom but he shook his head saying it wasn't German, either. Bill was seriously having trouble, but he kept singing anyway, and when he messed up Adam would yell at him.

"Do you really think it will open if your voice cracks!" Adam said.

"I want my friends!" Bill complained back. "I can't sing without my brother and my friends."

There was a long pause, and the sound of that bald cat meowing at the door. Adam chuckled darkly.

"Looks like they all came for you!" Suddenly the doors swung open and we all fell face first on top of each other into what looked like a thrown room. Only Bill was tied up at the thrown and Adam Lambert had changed back to his normal self. Well, normal for him, at least.

"Welcome, my little children." We all stared, really, really scared. He must have a bazooka somewhere, just looming in the shadows, or the anti-Christ was waiting behind the curtain.

Adam smirked. "Come on in." He motioned for us to come forward. We hesitated, but stayed close as a group. Tom gulped loudly and grabbed my arm, he was restraining himself. Poor guy.

Bill's eyes lit up but then turned sad. He looked away from us as we approached the thrown. Adam stood very still the hold time, watching and drinking some tea.

Bill turned to whisper at us. "You guys should have left. Now were all screwed."

"We couldn't just leave you." I said slowly. "Your too awesome for that."

He smiled at us, sadly. Nick came up from the back and put his hands on his shoulders.

"The milkshake doesn't have to be done," He told Bill. "We'll walk out of this alive." Georg and Gustav both came up, almost in tears. You'd think for the big guys they'd be a little more manly.

Kevin smiled at Bill, and Joe ran up and gave him an awkward hug as best as he could manage, what with being all tied up and a giant thrown and such.

Tom just looked, but everything was said through just through that. Super twin powers or something.

Adam Lambert disturbed the mushy scene by clapping very slowly and obnoxiously.

"Oh my god, even I'm gonna say that was gay." He pretended to wipe his eyes. "That was just _so_ sad."

Tom couldn't have looked more angry. I swear he needs some anger management.

Well, if your wondering what happened next, it wasn't pretty. We all got all captured by the hounds of hell, while Adam hopped up on a coffee table acting like he was hot stuff. Unfortunately for us, he wasn't exactly hot stuff.

"You poor kids thinking you can stop us. They don't understand about me and you Bill." He batted his eyelashes all at Bill.

There was a very audible ew from our side of the room.

Looking frustrated, Adam turned grabbed a very old looking music box and paraded it around. He stopped at me and grinned.

"Your the girl who started this nonsense, am I correct?" I gulped, confused and about to answer before Bill piped up.

"No it was me! I asked for help!" He said quietly. That wasn't true, why was he lying.

"No matter, she'll do nicely." The robot dropped me to the ground rather roughly, and I kind of layed there awkwardly.

"Ow that hurt you jerk." But nobody laughed. Come on people I just called a robot a jerk, he obviously didn't understand that. That was _funny _people.

Adam's evil grin grew as he pulled a chair for me to sit in. Well, I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, so I sat down, looking as chipper as I could manage.

Bill was looking scared.

"My friends...don't hurt them!" He cried suddenly. But it was ignored—Adam Lambert set the tiny music box down in front of me.

It was very old—small with an involved gold design around the edges. I knew better than to trust this thing, it must have been filled with some sort of demon Adam magic.

"Go ahead, open it." Lambert encouraged. I was not happy about it, but I put my hands on the lid and before I could open it I heard a loud ripping sound.

Bill was looking at his lap, no longer complaining, the handcuffs had been completely broken through.

He was breathing slowly, in and out. It was kind of...scary.

Adam forgot about the music box and turned excitedly to Bill.

"This is it! This power, this insight!" He approached Bill slowly. "Can you here me?"

But before Adam could get any closer Bill jumped up into the air—almost to the ceiling, and this was a thrown room. Wowzers.

This had been what Tom told me about—about Bill's freak outs. We all stared at him, in awe. His normally warm brown eyes were suddenly bright red, blazing. Now this was some corny vampire movie?

But Bill wasn't a vampire, he was something else. And it was pretty intense.

Bill back flipped through the air a couple times—style points—before landing perfectly and standing very calmly in the center of the room between me and Adam Lambert, who was now real close to the others and the hell-bots.

"Pardon me." His English was now flawless, by the way, with absolutely no accent.

He walked over and picked up the tiny music box, before lightly tossing it aside somewhere across the room.

"Don't mess with that." He said, before leading me back to the others. The robots tensed up, But Bill smiled and approached them slowly. He found the off switches, everyone was released.

Adam stomped his foot.

"Your not supposed to help them! Kill them all! Your evil!" Adam said, confused.

Bill turned from us, and we just stood there, open mouthed and impressed.

"Don't worry about this much, Adam." Bill took the robots giant metallic arm and—oh my God—literally crushed it in his hand. "You were going to hurt my friend, it's a miracle I'm gonna walk out of here while you still breathing."

"That's what you think!" Adam said, regaining his composure. "I'll have you one way or another."

Alright, now this was probably just in gay guy terms.

Bill made an ew face before the robots filed in. From all directions, we were surrounded. A rope later fell down from the ceiling, and Adam just narrowly escaped the clatter and commotion. It was dangerous for even their leader to be down here.

The sound was sickening, scraping of metal. The all came at us at once—now we were totally dead. But Bill started shouting orders at us as quick as possible.

He grabbed me and hopped onto the robots head—and continued head jumping until we were out of the room. Everyone followed out lead, Tom bringing up the rear with a disheveled Kevin Jonas holding an even more disheveled Joe Jonas.

It was amazing, as Tom quickly shut the door, but sirens were still going off and red lights flashing, and more robots were coming at us. We all bolted down what looked like a safe corridor, only to find one single room.

We all ran inside, it was dark and we couldn't see anything, and we heard Adam's voice coming out of a speaker over head.

"You'll never leave alive!" He chimed.

Suddenly, a huge metallic crunching noise filled the room and everything started trembling. Was this the earthquake room? I could not tell, because I couldn't see anything.

The floor opened up from underneath of us and we all back against a wall away from the huge gap now swallowing up the room. Arising from the whole was a huge black robot with dead red eyes the glowed as surely as Bill's, who was looking around frantically anazliing our situation. Even I knew it was pretty grim.

Kevin and Nick both stepped up, and following them was Caitlin, and then, the rest of us. There was no reason we couldn't defeat this thing—we were the world's finest and most highly trained set of people, I'd figure.

I mean, anything is possible if you just believe.

Tom was reaching for his sword, and pulled out my wand, ready to use any spell I could. Maybe a nice melting charm out to do the trick. Nick and Kevin both pulled out entire swords made out of that Dragon's fang, and I did realize that Kevin was that hunter. Gustav was sporting...a mini rocket launcher (wtf?) and Gustav was tying a scarf around his head. Joe was huddled somewhere in the corner, with Caitlin watching over him so he didn't get hurt.

It's eyes glowed and shot a laser right in the middle of us, and we all darted into the air quickly. It swung at me and I shot a time spell right at one of it's joints freezing it completely, and Nick swung and that limb severing it from it's body. The only problem was after that wires came out and it started to re-spawn that same arm. I frowned, but landed safely on the ground behind it.

Tom was busy sliced frantically at it's legs, trying to get it to lose balance, and Bill was dislocating something about it's head. Kevin and Nick both went for it's other arm, but it only did the same thing, wires sprouting and curving into the form of an arm, ready to swat away at us.

Bill jumped down again, in a matter of loops, over to me.

"I can access it's main off switch but it'll take hours. We don't have that kind of time." He paced back and forth a bit, jumping over a loud thump from the monsters tail.

Gustav was firing rockets at it's head, trying desperately to blow it off.

Bill went away towards Joe and Caitlin then, who was having a terrible time keeping Joe safe.

Bill called everyone's attention after leaving them.

We all formed in the corner, while Caitlin—already knowing what Bill was going to say—distracted the giant demon robot.

"Listen close. This music box Joe so kindly decided to steal will save our lives. I'm going to open it, and we all run like hell." He glared at Gustav. "You will haul ass, understood? Until we are out of this room, out of this castle. I do not care what you do, just get out as fast as you can, there are some windows, jump out. Do it, or else, you will die." He pointed nimbly to the music box, concealing it in his leather jacket.

I guess I understood, and we all gathered near the door, which was locked or anything, but we figured with the robots. Kevin grabbed Joe and Bill approached the giant robot. Caitlin came over to us, all looking intently at Bill.

He stood facing it alone. It growled and switched it's long scorpion like tail. Bill lowered the box slowly and he started counting. We were supposed to run at two, and he would open it at three.

"One." He said, sweat dripping off his forehead. The monster sniffed the air. It's red eyes menacing in the little light we had.

"Two!" He shouted and we all ran for the door. It roared and shot it's tail at us but it was too late, because Bill had already said three and opened the box, which swallowed the monster up in an un-holy tornado of white light which whipped around and started sucking in everything in it's path, including the castle.

We all had seconds, and the robots had been shut off, but they were to thick to run through. We jumped on their heads and, as Bill said, hauled ass as the music box sucked everything up. There were windows at the end of the hallway.

We all jumped through the window, Bill waiting for the precise moment, and somehow he managed to shut the music box without getting sucked in himself. I was breathless by the time I fell into some brush by the side of the forest.

The castle was gone—what was left was little ruin. There was a big naked spot where it had once stood. Everything inside, including Adam Lambert, had been sucked in.

We all were breathing heavy and shaking, except for Bill, who stood at the edge of the spot. His eyes widened and he shook for a second, and when he turned around his eyes were that deep brown again—he'd returned to normal.

"Where did the wonderful castle go?" He asked, disappointed. "I wanted to see it!" We all were laying in bushes, breathing, all banged up. Caitlin sat up, rubbing her head.

Tom breathed a sigh of relief, before coming up with some lame exscuse.

"You were asleep Bill and we had to leave." Bill raised an eyebrow—he was good at that—before blowing it up and finding a rock to sit on.

"You guys sure look beaten up. What have you been doing while I was asleep?"

Georg groaned, he'd fallen in a thorn bush. Kevin and Nick both dusted off their pants and coughed a bit.

"You have no idea." I couldn't help it, I laughed.

**The End =)**


End file.
